We had auditions for next years first play The Factory Girls and I was lucky enough to get a callback that was set for 10 a.m. Saturday morning. I went to bed Friday night feeling fine. The next morning I felt anything but. It felt like someone was trying to shove a metal pole out of my gum. Have fun visualizing that! This pain woke me up at five in the morning and kept me from getting any sleep. Soon, the pain in my mouth was mixed with nausea in my stomach. Already, I had a double bogey when it comes to callbacks. So, I got dressed and decided to lay down for a minute to see if I could sleep it off. I closed my eyes, and to my horror I woke up and looked at my phone. On the phone it says "10:05 A.M." Instantly my heart starts racing and I pop out of bed. The pain and nausea have not subdued at all. If anything they're worse. And on top of all of this, my hair is a disaster! I empty half a can of hair spray on my head, pat it down the best I can and bolt out the door running towards the Fine Arts Center. I get outside and attempt to cross the street. A black car is coming up to the crosswalk fast, so in the most passive aggressive move ever I start inching out to signal that I want to cross. He stops the car abruptly and I run to cross the street. All I hear from behind me is "Hey Bro! Yo, dude!". This was no time for conflict, so I just kept on running. I never found out what it was he wanted. Maybe he wanted to trade recipes for zucchini bread or, you know kick my ass for wanting to cross the street. Either way I had no idea.I bust through the doors of the F.A.C. at 10:10. My face is red hot, I'm sweating and out of breath. My tooth is uprooting from my gum with the strength of a blue whale and my stomach is tossing like the Atlantic Ocean in a rain storm. Perfect circumstances for a callback! I get there, check in with my friends the stage managers and within no time I'm in the Black Box.
Honestly the worst audition OF MY LIFE. I literally got in the room, read through the script trying desperately to find the words on the page while also refraining from puking all over it. I had a great scene partner in Michael Francis who helped in calming me down before the read through and who I had a blast playing off of in the scene. Once we finished, the director thanked us both and then told me that I could go. I wouldn't be reading for the play any more...
So, the cast list went up and I didn't get the part! Surprising right? It's so funny, because I try so hard
to stay as healthy as I can. Eating a balanced diet, staying active and getting enough sleep. But the one thing that got me was something that was entirely out of my control. The easiest thing to do in this situation was to get mad at myself. Call myself stupid and an idiot and completely destroy myself over one terrible audition. What would that achieve, though? It would only beat up and discourage me. Plus, who wants to take the easy option? I wasn't going to let one shitty experience completely ruin my whole day!
After I was released, I left the Fine Arts Center, went to Wal-Mart and got some Anbesol for my gum, went to the Marketplace for food and stayed there for a couple hours finishing my English project rocking out to the Scarface Soundtrack ("Turn Out the Light" by Amy Holland was my jam for that day. I've posted a link to it on the side). The main thing I did was I allowed myself to let the audition stay in the past. Instead of crying and lamenting over the fact that I completely blew it, I didn't let it define my whole day. If anything I looked at it as, "Well, the worst has happened. How can I make this day better?" And in doing so, I actually had a very enjoyable and productive day.
Am I bummed out that I blew the callback? Oh, you bet. But hey, in a profession where auditions are going to be apart of my everyday life, I'm going to have to accept the fact that there are going to be bad auditions. But, these bad auditions will only help in making the better ones shine even brighter and give me the chance to say, "Well, I'm not gonna try that again."
Every experience is a learning tool Bren. So you had a bad audition. At least you went & tried to perform under uncomfortable conditions. It shows that you have character, ambition, determination & strength. A better part will come along. Just always remember that you are the brightest star in the sky to me! Hang in there!
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