It seems that in the current times we live in so many of us are willing to settle and be content with mediocrity, complacency and overall just plain laziness. We would much rather sit inside, open up a nice cold Dr. Pepper and drink the sweet fizz while binge watching "(Insert favorite show on Netflix here)" instead of getting out into the world and try to influence change or make the most out of a given day.
I know, because this is me. Why go outside? I've got everything I need right here. I'm comfortable. The thought of going out and walking in public scares me because I start thinking of "Oh, what happens when someone walks by me? I'll say hi, then they'll say hi, and hopefully it stops there, but what if they keep going? Then I have to keep a conversation going? Aw hell no. I'll just turn on Call of Duty and let Mitch do all the talking for me!". Then I'm able to psych myself out and stay in doors all day! The reason being, I'm comfortable. I find it interesting for me that a word which is literally defined as "being in a state of physical or mental comfort; contented and undisturbed" actually gets my mind racing the most and causes me extreme amounts of discomfort! Don't get me wrong, it's perfectly okay to be comfortable, but it's once we start relying on comfort and becoming completely dependent and content on being comfortable that we start to suffer. The way I see it is, being comfortable means that you aren't moving forward. To this, a lot of people will say, "But Brendon. Being uncomfortable is scary."and to that I say...you're goddamn right it's scary! That shouldn't discourage you from breaking out of those comfort zones, though. If anything it should motivate you to do it! The thought of exploring unknown territory in yourself should be looked at as an adventure of self-discovery and growth!
Life wasn't intended to be boring. Everyday is unique and offers unlimited possibilities, we just never take them. Because we're scared. We're scared of rejection, of judgement, of pain. I know that so often I let what other people think about me influence how I live my life incredibly too much. Or even worse, I let the ideas or the assumptions of what other people will think of me influence any possible decisions I would make. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? That I think I know exactly how people will react to a decision that I make. The question I should really be asking myself is why am I letting other people's thoughts and judgments psych me out of a possibly great experience? The answer, I expect the worst that I never take the risk and therefore miss out on the best.
I was having a conversation last night with one of my best friends and the question came up of my favorite book was. I didn't even have to think about it. I've read a lot of books, but the first book I ever read that truly inspired, motivated and captured me was Andrew Clements "The School Story". I first read it when I was in sixth grade, and it's been a favorite ever since. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, here's the basic rundown:
"Natalie's best friend, Zoe, is sure that the novel Natalie's written is good enough to be published. But how can a twelve-year-old girl publish a book? Natalie's mother is an editor for a big children's publisher, but Natalie doesn't want to ask for any favors. Then Zoe has a brilliant idea: Natalie can submit her manuscript under a pen name, with Zoe acting as her literary agent. But it's not easy for two sixth graders put themselves over as grown ups with the help of a couple real grown-ups who are supportive but skeptical. The next best-selling story could be in their hands. Can they pull it off?"
After having this conversation, I went rummaging through my drawers to see if I still had my copy. My heart lit up when at the bottom of the drawer I saw that familiar looking cover staring up at me. The spine was still in good shape, despite being worn from countless readings. I opened up the front cover and started reading again. Instantly, I was sucked right back into the story and I read it all in one sitting. It was interesting reading through it again after nearly three years away from it. Initially I looked at the book as a cool story about a kid who gets a book published and that if you're talented enough all of your dreams can come true! Yep, my thoughts back then had about as much meat as a vegan's dinner platter. But this last time through, it stuck a different chord with me.
At the very beginning of the book Natalie is having her friend Zoe read through the story she wrote. She thinks it so good and then pitches the idea to Natalie to have it published. Natalie, having been to the editors office where her mom works, knows that the odds of her getting a book published are 1 in 5,000. She would go into her mom's office and see piles and piles of hopeful submissions sitting on desks. These were nicknamed "the slush piles". Natalie looked at it as a useless idea, thinking that her submission would be rejected on the spot. She was so afraid of the thought of rejection and failure that she wasn't even willing to take the risk and put her book on the line. She didn't want to take the risk because she was scared of what others would think and because it was uncomfortable. This serves as a reoccurring theme throughout the book, as more situations pop up and Natalie thinks it's useless to try to fight them. This even happens with Natalie's mom at the editor's office, who is too afraid to stand up for what she wants and what she believes in, as well. As the story progresses, however, both of their character arcs begin to grow. With the more confidence they instill in their selves and the more they begin treating themselves with self-respect, the more they are willing to take the risks.
This a motif that hit me personally. For the longest time I've felt as though I've been stuck in this box of comfort and conformity. It's my safety box. As long as I stay in here, I'll be fine and nothing bad will happen to me. No one will not like me and I'll please everybody! Sounds like a pretty good deal right? Absolutely. But, there's one major flaw to this plan. I'M LIVING IN A BOX! All around me I can hear the sounds of what's going on, but there are always four walls preventing me from engaging in the events that life has to offer. And the reason that people are pleased with me is because I'm not able to voice my opinions or my ideas against theirs. I become content, with living in a box just to make sure that other people are pleased. Not a very good way to live life in my opinion.
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I don't know about you, but I hate the idea of living a boring life. I love the idea of going outside, meeting new people and learning more about their life stories and their experiences while also being able to contribute my own. I love the idea of being able to voice my own opinions and to stand up for myself. I love the idea of being able to explore, engage and experience the adventure that is life! But, therein lies the problem. For the longest time it's only been an idea to me. I lack the bravery required to take risks, to talk to new people and not be terrified at the idea of carrying a conversation. I lack the bravery to voice my own opinions at the fear of being ridiculed, and I've been too busy making decisions and living my life for others.
Frankly, I'm disappointed in the way I've been approaching life. Locked in a box with only my Pandora playing Childish Gambino till 4 o'clock in the morning. That's why I know that it's time to get a box cutter and break out of this thing! It's time to break out of the constraints of comfort and embrace the excitement and unknowing of discomfort. Time to get some courage and some bravery to go out and experience life for the gift it is. Not for other people, no. This one is for me.
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