Lego's

I’m sitting in the café section of Hastings right now and I just got done scoring the first few beats of my next class scene from the play “Picnic”. Scoring is probably one of the most mentally exhausting parts of acting so needless to say my mind has been wandering a bit. As I sit here with a drop of coffee left in my cup, a journal, a collection of William Inge plays, my laptop and my script in front of me I can’t help but stop once in a while to look around at my surroundings and to contemplate the deeper meaning of life. I guess that’s what coffee does to me at 9:00 at night….or procrastination…one of the two.

Anyway, while I was sitting here, I looked around and my eye was caught on a big shelf in the toy section right across from me. On that shelf was a big display of the greatest and most creative toys created. It had Lego’s. It’s got all the newest Star Wars collections out. Let’s see, they’ve got the Death Star Final Duel, a Snow speeder, a Wookie Warship and a plethora of other fun, interactive sets. I was half tempted to buy one….then I looked at the price. $104 for the Death Star Final Duel! I miss the day

I swear...I better not get sued for this image.

s when all I had to worry about with Legos was “I hope I don’t lose the little vent piece!” It was in this moment that I realized the horrible, terrible truth about life.

I’m growing up.

Not only was it the monetary aspect of the Lego’s that made me realize this, it was also the question of “When in the world am I going to be able to play with this?” This leads me to my next question. WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!? It feels like just yesterday all I had to care about was being back inside before 8 for bedtime and making sure that I didn’t miss every Disney Channel original movie. I didn’t have to worry about money, food, politics, finding a woman to get married to so I don’t die alone and end the Henderson/Fogg/Gross bloodline by not bearing any children, grades, my career, bills. The list can go on and on! It seems that somewhere along the way, as the years passed by, adulthood and responsibility have sort of just sprung up on me. It’s been slowly stalking me, first at a distance, then as time moved forward it prowled closer and closer and right now it’s closing in and pulling back getting ready to spring on me!

Is that scary to think about? Absolutely! The uncertainty of where life is going to take me or what’s going to happen next utterly terrifies me at times. NOT ALL THE TIME, but let’s just say when I drive into a McDonald’s and worry about if I have enough money to get a double stack…well, that’s a scary moment when your card swipes through and you wait for that Transaction Approved sign.

It’s not completely terrible though. Sure the uncertainty can be terrifying…but it’s also exciting, too. To know that I’m on the brink of adulthood and that the actions I make now are influencing the rest of my future life, where I go and who I become. Whoever said life is a journey hit that square on the head. It’s a journey that is constantly being written as the years go by, our responsibilities increase and as independence begins to take a hold.

But who says that we have to sacrifice that younger version of ourselves?

Sure, there are a lot of things about younger me that I absolutely hated and that I never want to think about again…fourth grade and those Harry Potter glasses? Happy to do without. But that sense of innocence, the ability to live life care free with an eye that is constantly searching for adventure whether it be tangible or intangible, the mind that is colorful and creative…those are things that adulthood can never take away from me. Those are the keys to living your life your own way and making it enjoyable.